Weird Al Yankovic "Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me"

We've all seen it before, that one Facebook friend that just constantly spams your Facebook wall with all sorts of crap, when all you really want is to post other crap that you like. Don't, no one wants to read your crap, we don't want to see the results of some random image generator you found, some quote typed onto a scenic background, or a copypasta that made you laugh, save that brainless spam for Twitch chat.

This is not necessary

Weird Al Yankovic, you've heard of him, crazy accordion guy, makes parody songs, goes by Weird Al for short. is a wizard.

Sorry for that, I'm not sure how to insert gifs without turning them into shitty tumblr gifs. Nevermind, it turned out fine.

                                    "Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me"

Oh the sand keeps falling through the hourglass
and there's no way you're going to slow it down
you say we gotta treasure each moment
who knows how long we're gonna be around
yeah you keep on telling me life is short
and its hard to disagree with what you say
but if time is so precious why ya wasting mine
cuz I'm always reading
always deleting
every useless piece of garbage that you send my way
every stupid hoax
all those corny jokes
stop forwarding that crap to me
well I don't need tons of cringe inducing puns
stop forwarding that crap to me
no it isn't ok if you brighten my day 
with some cut and pasted hackneyed Hallmark poetry
and I didn't request a personality test
stop forwarding that crap to me

Ahhhh
you're sending virus latent you're sending virus-laden bandwidth-hogging attachments to every single person you know
you're passing around a link to some dumb thing on YouTube
that everybody else already saw three years ago
and wacky badly Photoshopped billboard were never that amusing to me
and I just can't believe you believe those urban legends
but I have high hopes that someone will point you toward Snopes
and debunk that crazy junk you're spewing constantly

No I don't want a bowl of Chicken Soup for the Soul
stop forwarding that crap to me
send more top 10 lists and I'll slash my wrists
please stop forwarding that crap to me
well I'm sorry i can't accept your paranoid rant
and I don't want the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe
won't you kindly refrain cuz its hurting my brain
stop forwarding that crap to me...

Like glittery hearts and unicorns and pictures of somebody's cat
now tell me in what alternate reality will I care about something like that?
and by the way your quotes from George Carlin aren't really George Carlin
Mr. Rogers never fought the Viet Cong
and Bill Gates is never gonna give me something for nothing
and I really doubt some dead girl is gonna kill me if I don't pass her letter along

Well now I know you're wishing 
I'll sign your petition
but stop forwarding that crap to me
and I don't want to read your series 
of conspiracy theories
just stop forwarding that crap to me
and your two million loser friends
all have my address because you never figured out the way to BCC
but now I gotta insist
take me off of your list
stop forwarding that crap to me
(stop forwarding that crap to me
stop forwarding that crap to me
stop forwarding that crap to me
stop forwarding that crap to me)
just stop it now
oh no
(stop forwarding that crap to me) [repeats]
i can't take it
aw please
you gotta stop
right now
I'm not kidding
at the risk of being slightly repetitious gonna ask you now to stop
sending me that crap
I don't want it
don't send it to me
now don't send it to me
just stop forwarding that crap to me
stop forwarding that crap to me
to me

The text type I will be analyzing are the lyrics to the song "Stop Forwarding That Crap To Me".

Weird Al says it better than I can, although this was clearly intended to be directed to people that are emailing him as inferred from lines such as

"stop forwarding that crap to me" 

or

"...because you never figured out the way to BCC"

still hold up today, especially in the wake of social media sites such as Facebook and others. The points made in the video even though it was from 2011 are still relevant 5 years later, this isn't surprising as a lot of people are generally unfit to handle the internet. 

Why this was said should be fairly obvious 

"i can't take it

aw please
you gotta stop
right now
I'm not kidding"

Clearly expressing his contempt at weird stuff like photoshopped billboards, inspirational quotes, or online petitions, which are always useless. So it's a way to connect with his many like minded fans who also are annoyed by people on Facebook 

Weird Al always uses humour as a subject for his songs with great success, rhyming his lists of items which annoy him and generally keeping to the tune of the original song if it is a parody. The actual video is a lyric video, with text scrolling and shifting this way and that it  is downright a masterpiece. 

My advice to you all is to listen to more Weird Al Yankovic songs.